(Disclaimer: This post is a draft. My “editor” is taking a while to review it so I decided to put up what I had. Stay tuned for the final post. J)

Spaghetti, salad, bbq spare ribs and pulled pork sandwiches are among the many foods which have been branded as "do-not-eat-on-a-date" foods. Sitting across from someone who is desperately trying to slurp a rogue piece of pasta or wrestle an uncooperative half head of romaine into their mouth can be a bit awkward. (After lunch today I decided to add curry rice bowls and teriyaki chicken tacos to the list. Basically, don't eat anything on a date that can't be sucked through a straw.)

Wait a minute…Who decided certain things should or shouldn’t be eaten on a date? Of course, everyone should want to make a good first impression on a date. Perhaps we are looking at these messy foods in the wrong light.  

There are times when we stand on the thresh hold between dignity and culinary greatness. Then a choice must be made. Do I stand safely in the realm of bland, easily eaten, easily forgotten food? Or do I throw caution to the wind and put my social life at the mercy of culinary genius? Standing over a pot of fragrant Southwestern Chicken Soup is one of these moments.

This elegant and simple soup is truly delicious on its own, but the devout gastronomic artist is never satisfied with just delicious. To them a steaming pot of soup is merely a beginning. Their mind begins to ask the question which has led to more culinary revolutions than any other, "How can I make this better?"

There are several ingredients which could come to mind...chips, sour cream, avocado...and cheese. Yes, cheese with its salty flavors and deliciously soft melted texture would be perfection...or so It would seem.

One of the wonderful properties of cheese is its willingness to melt. Without this miracle we would never enjoy things like quesadillas, nachos, or grilled cheese sandwiches...in short, the world would be a colder, darker place. However, so much melted goodness isn't for the faint hearted eater. Melted cheese has a mind of its own.

Handfuls of delicious cheddar cheese were dropped into the steaming soup. From the first spoonful it was apparent that melted cheese belongs on pizza or pasta and not in soup...if your need for dignity outweighs your pursuit of gastronomic greatness. When cheese is added to hot broth it quickly settles to the bottom of each bowl in a molten mass and is determined to stay there. Instead of being transported easily and cleanly into eager mouths the melted cheese will do its best to slide off the spoon and back into the bowl or onto the table cloth or down your chin...anywhere besides your mouth.

I feel a little bit awkward posting something about marriage…I am no expert on this subject, for sure! My friend asked me to post what she and I talked about so she could discuss it with some friends. J

My friend and I decided it is so ironic that the young adults of the church, who have the ultimate example of pure love and the key to happy marriage and family life, look to people who call lust love and can’t maintain healthy intimate relationships. We are tricked by the media into expecting things in a relationship instantly, things that can only be cultivated and earned through hard work, sacrifice, selflessness and commitment. Real lasting true love isn’t something that magically happens between two people. It is a gift that is given by Heavenly Father to those who draw close to Him and are willing to obey commandments and keep covenants.

We talked about some things that made me look at marriage in a whole new way. When we approach dating and finding someone to marry from the world’s perspective it can be a very competitive, selfish thing. Everyone is looking for the person who suits their needs best. I completely agree that people should look for someone who they are equally yoked with, someone with common long term goals and commitment to the gospel. However, sometimes I think we look for someone who will “make us happy.” Ultimately, we choose whether or not we are happy, regardless of who we marry. There are some situations that make being happy easier than others. Of course Heavenly Father wants us to be happily married.

I have realized more than ever that happiness in marriage is a combination of choosing an equal companion, with Heavenly Father’s help, and creating a happy marriage. It requires a lot of work. Happiness and love in marriage aren’t things that are magically present and if they are not you are out of luck. Couples must work together selflessly to create a happy relationship and home.

Realizing this has helped me see that the characteristics of kindness, patience, friendship, selflessness and charity are things that I need to develop and want in an eternal companion. If each person is more concerned about their spouse’s happiness than their own and are committed to Heavenly Father than a blissful marriage is definitely an attainable goal. When I look at guys who I date as a potential father of my children that helps me see more clearly what I should be looking for. When I view myself as a future mother that changes who I am trying to become.